Based on a new formalism from argumentation theory, we might be able to turn large language models into Petri dishes for cultivating belief systems. In such a memetic pressure cooker, a host of belief systems would be incentivized to generally maintain internal consistency while systematically undermining each other. In this framework, we could develop specialized "lab equipment" to help us (1) extrapolate belief systems, (2) accelerate conceptual research, and (3) synthesize a memetic variant of the GPU-burner. For instance, an Overton probe could be used in tandem with a Gould fork to estimate the future compatibility of a belief system with a given statement across a large number of counterfactual phylogenies. Alternatively, a Kuhn seismograph could help pinpoint major shifts in worldview as places to search for underlying ideological invariants.